Jennifer: 0:24

Welcome to another episode of Behind the Dreamers. I'm your host, Jennifer Loehding, and we are talking to the achievers, the creators, the magic makers and the dreamers. These are our friends, these are your friends, and they are living the extraordinary Well. As I always say, I'm excited about my guests today. I'm always excited about my guests today because I get to talk to amazing people. Anyways, a little bit of information about him. He has led campaigns for Fortune 500 companies and provided individual guidance to athletes, executives and various individuals. What sets him apart is his openness about his journey through addiction and recovery, a unique quality he willingly shares with anyone who listens. He firmly believes that transparency about transparency about personal struggles breaks down barriers that often hinder people from seeking help. Devoting his life to sobriety, he's committed to assisting individuals and companies in reaching their authentic goals, so I'm excited to chat with him today. I think you guys are going to be in for a real treat. But before I officially welcome him, I do need to make a few quick announcements. So this episode is brought to you by Walt Mills Productions.

Jennifer: 1:26

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Jennifer: 3:07

What's the talk about? Yeah, all right, so we're going to talk to Jay today. I'm so excited. Jay Staples is the owner and CEO of Sober Caddy Creative Agency. With a prosperous career spanning advertising and mental health substance abuse industries, jay has consistently carved out a niche by harnessing creativity wherever he goes. Notably, he's the mastermind behind the authentically sober coaching platform, employing creativity and humor to guide individuals in discovering their authentic principles. So welcome to the show, jay. I'm excited to chat with you. So tell us a little bit about what you got going on right now. I love what you're doing, but our audience is going to want to know what this is.

Jay: 3:47

I just I started a firm called Sober Caddy Creative Agency about eight or nine years ago.

Jay: 3:54

I think I'm getting all kinds of crud that we need to establish when we actually open our doors for business. But in the last four or five years we've kind of really taken off working directly with athletes in the collegiate space and in the professional space and also executives. I have a creative background and advertising background. My dad had a small ad agency growing up and then I've always kind of bounced around from, you know, passion to purpose to all kinds of stuff, playing golf, wanting to do golf professionally, to advertising to you know I sold things door to door. But just in the last four or five years Sober Cady Creative Agency has kind of gotten on the map and I'm grateful and humbled by that. But I think it's we still stay true to our one-on-one. We work directly with that, with individuals and companies, and I really want them to. I never want us to feel kind of a big time agency feel. I always want, I always want to have a small time agency feel and I think we still are, I mean in the grand scheme of things, kind of a small agency and I love that and love the staff, love everything. They get all the credit. I'm kind of the out in the forefront doing presentations and kind of. You know got to be known for just listening and kind of asking questions and people. Thankfully the phone keeps ringing, so I'm going to keep listening and learning more about people because I get fascinated.

Jay: 5:24

In the last two years I'd say three years just became overly fascinated by how, you know, people make thoughts and their thought. You know how to change thoughts and habits. And you know I'd look back on some of my life and see, like why I made certain decisions, sometimes really, really bad I was. You know I started, you know, abusing drugs and alcohol at when I was 17, 18 years old. That lasted until like 31. And so in the heart of addiction, you know I still I kind of wanted to dissect certain just you know thought processes, certain habits, certain why did I do what I did? And you know what did drugs and alcohol and the other things kind of give my life that I was so in need of or desperate for. And then you take drugs and alcohol out of my life and you know I kind of had this climb, like my professional, personal, every, every department of life has gone way up since getting sober and that normally is really good for people.

Jay: 6:24

But I just, for some reason, I just wanted to say like, because people kept saying, like I have families, like how did you get sober, how did you do what you do and how did you get to be where you're at? And I was on a stage or presentation and you know, some college age woman asked like you know how, how did you get to the spot you're on? And I was kind of Taking back that I didn't know how to answer that question and so I decided I walked off that stage and I called up my assistant, anyone that wanted to listen and I said I really want to get a grasp on what got me here in my thoughts and my habits and everything. So, and lo and behold, it's. It's become what people kind of know us for. So taking look into, tapping into your authentic self, your habits and your thought changes is really what our core principles are. Coaching firm kind of, is based on.

Jennifer: 7:19

I love that well, and I think that's a lot of what I kind of do. I think you know I just touch on so many things here. You're talking about your journey and I think you know we talk about people's journeys like this. When you have these journeys where you've overcome something and then you get on the other side and somebody says to you like how did you do that? Like it's, it's really like it could be a business you're building or what if they look at that, the end result, right, and they say, okay, so how did you get there? Right, and then we have to backpedal and go, okay, what were the steps that I took to get from here to here, to here to here? So thank you for touching up on that, because I think that's important and I the episode that I did a recorded before this.

Jennifer: 7:52

We kind of touched upon that same thing of recognizing the journey that we went through to get to where we are. But I also like that you're talking about this whole authenticity thing and I think that that's because I think that's a great thing and I think when you go through something hard, you have the ability to Be raw and authentic about your journey and I think people kind of appreciate that you know what I mean when they see that it's like the real thing. If you're going to be authentic about this and up forward, then they are Going to somehow translate that into hopefully that's what you're going to do with me in business. You're going to be authentic and real in business.

Jay: 8:25

Yeah, well, I think it goes back to kind of authentic communication and authentic leadership, and you can kind of put it that authentic into you know in front of a lot of things and that's what I love to do and you know. So when, when I really wanted to learn how to communicate better to you know internal staff, to clients, to presentation, to whatever it may be stop saying I'm in like so much which I still fail- Sometimes, and I kick myself every time.

Jay: 8:53

but you know, I found a communication.

Jay: 8:56

I knew you can't really communicate authentically if you're not, if you're going to withhold something from from within that communication.

Jay: 9:04

And yeah, I think, yeah, I've heard a lot of times people are, you know, thank me, and I was, you know, appreciate how open I am, and you know some people will sit down with me and you know one of our other clinicians or coaches here and, yeah, I want them to know, like, this is not us looking down on, you know, and it's more, let's communicate authentically, let's find out who you, authentically, are meant to be.

Jay: 9:29

And I've made mistakes and You're going to make mistakes, and so I want to have that kind of authentic communication where it's the in the sense that like, hey, let's get vulnerable enough, like here, I've not succeeded in every aspect of my life. I'm, you know, whatever it may be, and so you know that that's to me is is is really big with you know, just kind of. I think too many people set out for a goal and they, they try to, they commit to working out every day or whatever that goal is, and then they think that that goal is going to lead them to being a certain person they kind of envision their mind.

Jay: 10:10

What I always what I do is I flip that around, like I start out with who you authentically want to be like. Who do you want to be like? Let's, let's, let's, substitute. Let's not what your mom and dad want you to be, or or what your coach wants you to be, or what the fans want you to be, whatever it may be. Let's find out what to you authentically are. Let's find out those habits that are aligned with your authentic person that you want to come be, and outcomes in the goals, and all these things will take care of itself. So I think it's. I think habits and thought process, and you know what I call kind of systems, and James queer, who, who I love talking about habits, talks about the systems like the, the under underwater portion of the iceberg.

Jennifer: 10:54

Everyone just sees kind of the goals or so, but no, I think this is good and I like that. You're talking about authenticity and putting it all out there and you know I'm working with your people and leadership, I think is so important. I think you and I are kind of similar in how we're looking a little bit on how we're looking at working with people because, funny enough, the episode I did before this we talked about Exercise was one of the things that we talked about, because people they get so hung up on this goal, right, like like you were saying, they have a goal and then they put metrics around the goal, right. So let's take exercise, for example. They say I'm going to exercise and I'll keep in mind that exercise for me is a no brainer. I've done it for years. I do it every day.

Jennifer: 11:29

If I don't, I told this person I have to make a conscious decision to say I'm not going to exercise today, that I want to rest because I just do it. But let's say somebody doesn't write and they go and they set this goal and then they decide what do they do? They're like I'm going to exercise every day, I'm going to go to gym every day, I'm going to go three times this week and I'm going to two hours they put these unrealistic metrics On these goals, rather than saying I would like this to be a lifestyle change that I would like to do. Maybe they do that. But to observe, to really take that in and say I'd like that to be part of who I am as an individual, so help me create that.

Jennifer: 12:02

And that I even went so far to say sometimes you have to change the metrics. So if you absolutely despise going to the gym, don't go to the gym. Go, do something else you like to do. Go walk the dog, join a kickball team, I don't know. Go bowling, do something that has physical activity, so that you can change the way you're looking at the exercise and now maybe in grain this into your life where you're not fighting it so much. Thank you so much, right.

Jay: 12:27

Yeah yeah. That person that doesn't like the gym or working out, just call him Jay. I mean, that's me in the heartbeat. I mean because I always joke. Like you know, gyms make me break out in a sweat. I mean, I don't like it.

Jay: 12:40

So but I love what you said, that.

Jay: 12:43

I love what you had to say because, like, I went through this whole thing and so I committed to, I found out what I'm, you know, really truly willing to do, and one of it was I started off as a five minute walk.

Jay: 12:55

I was going to go outside my office or outside my house or something, take a five minute walk and that's kind of involved to a 45 minute walk, which I truly look forward to each and every day, because there's a lot of things that I do.

Jay: 13:08

I've learned through habits and thoughts that you know I can do in that 45 minute walk where I don't even bring my phone anymore and I cut off and start thinking about, you know, days and kind of refresh, you know, through the mind. But you know that to me is the closest thing that I will do to exercise on a day basis and you're talking to a guy that's probably went through 12 different personal trainers in his life is probably I may still have a gym membership that I'm just refusing to. You know who knows? But you know, because I get, you know, I say, as long as I have the gym membership, then that I can always. You know I'm a gym guy, so I always delayed canceling it and, you know, one night I found a real nice one where they had a juice bar and kind of smoothie in a basketball court, which I really loved.

Jennifer: 13:56

So I'm there.

Jay: 13:57

So and I kept that on as kind of a club. I looked at it as like a social club instead of you know, but when I, you know, that's kind of just touching with you know what we talked about. Often you know, authentically is.

Jay: 14:09

You know, I found out who I really wanted to be, what I was willing to do authentically, and didn't make these observant. You know goals that I need to lift, like 225 or dead lift or whatever they say, or I'm not going to work out, I'm not going to do stair. Look, you know, I've looked at Pelotons and all this online, this mirror thing that talks bad to you or something that I've looked at all those and tried, but I just I'm going to stick to my 45 minute walk each and every day and that's what I'm willing to do. And I think the most important thing that people need to realize is find out what you really truly willing to do and cause. Like anytime you, anytime you create a habit, anytime you reach for an outcome or a goal. Like you know, I spent most of my life throwing out these high goals or outcomes. Or I want to be here. I want to be. You know I wasn't willing to do the work or anything close to like it's. I want to climb Mount Everest. I'm going to do it that weekend with no preparation, and so that's kind of how I lived my life, and I think a lot more people are doing when I'm looking at how we go through life is everybody wants to do, everyone wants to be, everyone wants to think, whatever it may be, but what are you willing to do to get to that goal? And so sometimes we get kind of hell bent on a certain goal, or we got to do this, or you look at the I want a certain business card to say this, or I want the yacht or the car, or you know, in these goals kind of just a, they dilute your kind of journey and you're also pretty much, you know, almost guaranteed to be missing a lot along that journey because you're only looking at one particular thing. You could have more opportunities and more kind of gains just because you're focused on that. You're missing out on so much.

Jay: 15:57

So I do, I appreciate the journey and you know, I always say like embrace and expand each moment, like build each moment with as much as you possibly can, doing whatever you can and staying in that moment and not worrying about the past or the future and just kind of jam packing each moment that we have. So I really want to enjoy the journey and I could have these goals or the vision board and I do all that as well, but I'm also, I also tell myself these are things right now, in this moment that I that I may want that that could change in that moment. So let's not go all in on these things on the vision board. Let's be open.

Jay: 16:38

And so that's why I just kind of you know what I was saying like if you put in the work, if you, if you change your thoughts, if you change your habits and you're doing the things that most people don't see on a day to day basis, they just see you success or what you're doing or what you're driving or what you're saying or whatever. But if you put a great systems in with habits and thoughts and you know meditating and getting in touch with yourself and just living you and not playing characters, you're going to reach a lot of these outcomes and goals without even trying, because you know you look at anyone like you can, I can, I can take a look at someone and get to know how they, you know what their daily schedule is and what their daily habits are, and I can pretty much almost guaranteed kind of knock out who the. You know who they are, what they do and how successful they are because just by looking at their day to day schedule and their daily habits.

Jennifer: 17:31

Yeah, it's funny that you say that, because I always say you know how you do. One thing is how you do all things. And so if you look at people's personal habits, like you're saying, it doesn't necessarily mean that everything's bad. But I always say what you're doing, whatever you're doing in your personal, you're probably pulling some of that into your work as well. And if you listen to people and you kind of hit the nail on the head by looking at people's habits and saying I can kind of figure out who's successful or not and I hate to say that I do that too I look at people's habits and I say, well, if they're having a lot of areas over here where they're struggling with discipline, they probably got a lot of discipline struggles over here as well.

Jennifer: 18:07

And so the good news about discipline is we can all learn it right. You don't have to be born with it. You can learn to be disciplined. I mean, we could. That's that's through our habits and the work that we do. And so you touched upon a lot of really good things, but I think the overarching message here is really about the authenticity right, defining who you are as an authentic person and tailoring these goals and your activities and habits really around what you want to be as a human being. That's what I'm hearing from you. If I were to sum that all up yeah.

Jay: 18:34

I mean it's it's, it's our cornerstone, it's everything. You know our consultations are first kind of questionnaires. They're everything is based around kind of an authenticity audit, what we call um, where we kind of just audit you know what's led you to this point, what you want to be, and you know we there's so many different answers, like so many people, like you know you have people like my mom and dad. Always, you know, from a young age I remember telling them that I'm going to be a doctor. Or you know I'm talking with with athletes and you know they they struggle with, you know, the finding their authentic self, like off the field. Or you know, like they have to be a certain brand because of the endorsement deals or the fans, or you know, whatever it may be. And so you know some of these, the mean green, you know, like toughest linebackers that I see on Sunday morning, like uh, I'll sit down with and they're the biggest, sweetest person and they're almost like don't tell anyone. Like you know, because they kind of have this uh playing of a character, like they're this mean, tough, the face black, and you know, and so I get it. There's your job and I think that you know everyone says like I don't want to start talking about my thoughts because that's going to make me soft or change the athlete that I am. And I'm just like hey, like that's not, not even close. You do a job, everyone has a job, and that's what they're really good at. And I want to say you're authentically meant to be an athlete, you know, let's just talk about your personal life, like, oh, that's not. You know they're going into the third marriage or they're struggling with anything like that, and so like, if we can find balance, because it's so many things, everyone, everyone it doesn't have to be an athlete. That you know, we all played different characters and sometimes it was ingrained by us.

Jay: 20:15

I'm not saying mom and dad was wrong by any means, but you know like you're going to be this and you're going to be that, and I mean, and we're just young kids, and so you know, I've always had, I don't think, my mom and dad. They think they purposely kind of pushed me and my two brothers into like find, whoever you are, like that. I think they did a really good job. But I delusionally made up that my dad said I needed to get into advertising or I needed to do this, or my mom wants me to, you know, be a minister or whatever it may be. They've never said it, I just delusionally.

Jay: 20:47

And so you know, through this authenticity audit that we do, like we find out what those delusion things, what we said to ourselves along the way, what we're continually delusionally telling ourselves, what's legitimate about it, and we kind of have this process where we find out what you truly authentically are. And so you know, it's interesting to have some grown people kind of realize, like I don't know how I became so successful, like I don't even enjoy doing what I'm doing for one minute of the day, like as soon as I'm able to clock out. But they're just saying, like I got a family, I'm successful, I'm used to this certain lifestyle, and you're like Jay, I'm unwilling to change. And I was like, well, everyone thinks that what we're doing is going to try to change everything. All I really want to do is change your habits and change your thought process on how you see things.

Jay: 21:39

And there's some really authentic principles and values that you can take to your current job, even if you enjoy it, to try to turn that kind of thought process. And you know, if you're, if you're dreading, going to work each and every day. I think you have two options. You can. You can change how you view things and what you're telling yourself subconsciously to change that. Or you need to kind of find a new job or something. But don't, don't. I mean, I think too many people want to make these rash decisions and then like what, what do I do now? And it's like, well, a good decision would have been stay where you're at and then have these conversations and then get changed.

Ad: 22:17

But you know I get.

Jay: 22:18

I get the people that have just quit my job after 25 years like I'm trying to find out who I am and it's like okay, yeah, yeah.

Jennifer: 22:28

Yeah.

Jay: 22:28

So it's, I think, people. You know, that's all I really want. I think the social media, everything, every aspect of our life is the kind of pushing us into playing characters or pushing us into similar beliefs. So that's why I'm so passionate about being authentic. And you know, we were born in original. My mom always would say and I heard it through you know, like you're born in original, god made you original, like you know. You know, don't die. No-transcript A copy or don't don't die.

Jennifer: 23:00

Yeah exactly, exactly. No, this is good, j, and I can sense that and see that and I think that you know we I hope that most of us try to be authentic right about we do. I feel like I try to be authentic about the way I Operate my show and the people that I bring on and kind of the messaging that I'm sending. And it's funny because most of my I get you know coaches come in here and I always vet them because I want to know where they're coming from, because I don't think we all Think the same way and I get it that we're not all gonna be like every you know things gonna be in sync, but I look for Authentic people and people that are just conscientious, that are, that pay attention about what they're doing, the messages that they spread out and how they're affecting people around them, because I think that's huge, especially in position where we are. We're actually working with people and hopefully influencing, having some impact, influence over them.

Jennifer: 23:45

You know this is good. I would love to know because I know, you know, biggest challenge for you was obviously, you know, getting into sobriety. That's your trip, personal journey, and a lot of us have these crazy journeys and thankfully you're on the other side of that Can tell people about that, but I would love to know, for our audience just maybe, one of the struggles that you had in really trying to get this you know business up informed, like was there something that sticks out in your mind that you had to overcome.

Jay: 24:09

Oh, I mean fear and it's purest form when, he you know, like I, still, like you know, I joke with people like I miss having the paycheck at each and every you know two weeks. Like I, I miss the insurance, I miss the. You know, whatever it may be, and when you're the, you're the man and people, everything's coming like it's. You know, there was a long, long time. Don't make, I mean there's. I made probably every mistake that kind of a young businessman you know made like we, you know we were struggling and then we, you know, got a lot of success and then that came with like, well, we need a bigger office and we need more more space.

Jay: 24:52

Yes, yeah, and then I'm walking into an office and like people are like, are you Jay? And I'm like, yeah, like who are you? I mean, I started last Monday and I'm just like you know, and I walked around like, why are we hiring people? Like and, and then we hit a wall and you know, I had to get vulnerable enough and call Everyone that I could think of. Like my dad has always been my first call and you know, we kind of talked through kind of you know, just shifts and he's been there with you know, never asked questions. He's kind of just let me talk. You know, gives me his advice and you know, and it's I learned everything.

Jay: 25:26

And so some of the challenges that I have is just, you know, with Dealing with fear basically and how I get creative.

Jay: 25:34

You know, because fear absolutely paralyzes me. When I, when I truly want to be authentic with anyone, like I'm not like fear Paralyzed me, I just kind of tense up and I just, yeah, and you see it with sometimes with me, just send in my day-to-day life, like, and sometimes I'm just open, or it's like, oh god, I just had Delusional fear and I just kind of stopped. So when I got creative enough and I'm open enough and you know, I got a tremendous staff and we had to do a massive kind of layoff, like 20 people or Whatever it may be, and and that was the worst day of my life, and because I just took it all personal and it was all my fault and if we could have brought more business in, and you know. But I'll tell you one thing that you know so many people said like well, just have someone else you know kind of you know lay them off or fire on whatever you want to say.

Jay: 26:26

But you know, like I, I got a lot of good advice and and and if we're talking about being authentic, when we're talking about being vulnerable, like it would have been really kind of Off-character for me to be like, well, just do it Friday, I'm not gonna come in and just, you know, fire everybody. And so I just I brought everyone in together and like the whole staff, and brought people from out of town off the road Sometimes, and we sat down, we had an open dialogue and and I was as authentic as I possibly could. I, you know, this was a decision that I tried every which way, and I tried cutting my own Salary, I tried cutting other people's salaries and I just I can't do it and we're gonna be overhead. And so Everyone was in the room. I looked at and I let people know, like you know, there's, there's, everyone has an envelope. You can either open it now in front of others, or you can do it while in private. But I just I couldn't think of any other way to do it other than then. Like I just want to let people know like we got too big and that was my mistake and and just got really vulnerable and authentic.

Jay: 27:33

And you know, some people open up in their envelope, you know, and it had kind of a, you know it just basically said like either a thank-you letter for all your service or you know, like thank you for, you know, trusting us and and so the letters everyone looked the same.

Jay: 27:51

But you know like it was the toughest cuz I knew and I cried and it was the toughest conversation I've ever had in my entire life and sobriety has been great and that's been tough too. But you know there's there's there's rarely a night that I can't, that I can think of, like in my active addiction when it got really, really bad. But the night before knowing going into the office when everyone was coming in for that I didn't sleep. I just I mean, I literally could not sit still like I. That was the toughest time. So you know, when you talk about the most challenging, it's you know the decisions that you make and then being constantly reminded like every decision I make, like let's hope it doesn't come back to that like I, my mind instantly goes back to that. Like being in front of the whole staff and and knowing half of them are being being let go, so yeah, that's hard.

Jennifer: 28:46

That's hard. I could see that. Yeah, well, and thank you for sharing that, because I think that's what's great about what we talk on here. So we like to keep it real and you know that, hey, even though you're successful in area, there are things we have to overcome within the business. And it's really good, because I talked to somebody that there a day on a different show.

Jennifer: 29:01

We were talking about what you know what, whether you decide to move somebody to another position or you let them go and he mentioned the part where they should it shouldn't be a surprise, like it shouldn't be you just walk in and you, you know, and they get a call or you know, like a text message. They should already kind of know, and I think you kind of talked about that, just really having an authentic Conversation like, hey, this is where we are and, being honest, you know, I think it's good. I want to ask you I got two more questions. I want to ask you real quick and I know we're pressing on time, but I want to get these and I'd love to know what you've learned about yourself in this journey.

Jay: 29:34

Oh, you know what you, you're, you're good. These are good questions, I mean, I mean I just I think I, through this whole journey and even just our conversations today, I mean this is what makes life so valuable and why I'm so humbled and grateful for it. I mean I think that I would love to tell people like that I fully understand who I am and where I've been and what makes me amazing and what my weaknesses are, and I continue to do that. But I keep, you know, learning more and more about myself, each and every communication, each and time we sit down, learning how other people deal with it, going through the mistakes, talking about the mistakes I've made. So you know, I just know that I'm grateful and humbled. Or the two leading things you know, god and I, you know, as kind of a living amends to all the stuff that I put my mom and dad through, like I'm really happy to be active in their lives and checking in with them on a regular basis and kind of living the way that that makes them the most proud and and authentically, like I'm not going to find what they want me to be or what want me to say is you know, uncle Fun with I got four nephews and a niece and and the fact that they FaceTiming nonstop and you know they'd look forward to it, probably because I spoil them way over the top. But you know it's. It's those things that I don't. I don't take when I go walk into my office or when I have all this, like it's really easy for people to be like, oh my God, this office is beautiful and how many people do you have working for you? And like I sometimes have to think about that because I've made a commitment to concentrate on being a great uncle, being a great, you know, friend, brother, son, employer and just someone that's basically in the fellowship and and active and always going to be open with with my struggles and open with my, you know, successes. So I can tell you that there's a good chance that the most people spend 10 minutes with me. You'll probably get a good idea of who I am as a person and probably quickly realize that I'm not perfect and I make a lot of mistakes. But I think if, if we can get creative which I love I think we're all creative in our own aspect to it and you know we mentioned humor in your introduction.

Jay: 31:57

I think this, I think life beats us down. You know too much and I think we need to take some times to kind of laugh. And I'm a high, I love stand up comedy and I love everything. But you know a timely joke or you know all my staff meetings and you know I rarely I know when to be serious.

Jay: 32:15

But I also really appreciate the times when we can kind of lighten the mood with a joke and some of my clients said, like not the time, jay, for your joke, and you know, but more often than not I'm dead on. I nailed the timing of the joke, but you know it's, you know, in active addiction. I work with a lot of people that go into addiction and you know that's the first thing that they, when they laugh for the very first time, they'll just, they'll kind of be shocked, like they, like they learned how to laugh again and they're like man, I haven't laughed in years and that's always stuck with me because I was much the same way. So I think we all need to laugh more and I think we all need to create more and worry less.

Jennifer: 32:58

Love it, I love it. Well, you said a lot of good things. The last part would be any final parting words that you want to leave for somebody, advice for anybody, maybe, kind of as an entrepreneur, they're budding out there and just going to start something new Do the opposite of what I've done.

Jay: 33:12

I mean I'll just no, in all seriousness. I mean I think that you know, just realize that everything where you are today you're meant to be and there's no mistakes. And you know you deserve everything in your life. And if you're going through a tough time, know that the tough time is not going to last real long. But you know you're, you're going through the tough time because you have the strength to come out of the hole.

Jay: 33:36

And you know, if you truly, you know can, can, can, embrace who you truly are and be comfortable with yourself in a crowded room, that's what the secret of life is. It's not the social media, it's not the following, there's not the business card, it's not anything the car, the friends or or anything other than like. If you can be content and at peace and happy with you in a crowded room with your two, you know, feet on the ground, that's all there is to life. I mean just you know we all have assets and we all have creativity and we have, you know, just laugh and enjoy life and and know that everything that's brought you to this point happened for a reason. And if it's going through a tough time, you have the strength to overcome it, because otherwise you wouldn't be in that position.

Jennifer: 34:26

Sure, Good stuff, Good stuff, Jay. So if audience wants to get in touch with you, maybe they want to catch up with you. See what you got going on. Where would you like us to send them?

Jay: 34:35

Social media it's always SilverCatty. I know pretty much every social media got on TikTok because my niece got me on there, so I'm even on TikTok. But SilverCattyCreativeAgencycom you can send. You can send. There's a request and you know I still check the request on the online forums because I don't ever want to. I got to a point when we talked about my challenging times when I wasn't even checking my emails. I had someone know, you know like, and I made a commitment that I was always going to still check, still wanted to. Anytime you email the firm, anytime you email me, just know that it's going directly to me. There's not someone in between. So reach out, I would love and if I can be of service, free or I mean anything I can do like, I just want to keep reaching my hand back and helping people out of a dark spot.

Jennifer: 35:31

Awesome, very cool. Thank you, jay. Thank you for your authenticity, thanks for sharing your story, telling us about what you're doing. We'll be sure, when this goes out, too, We'll get your links on there so that everybody knows how to get in touch with you if they choose to do so. So how do you want to say to our audience If you enjoy our show, please be sure you head on over to Apple, give us a review over there, hit that subscribe button on YouTube so you can follow us and we can continue telling all these great stories and inspiring and all that good stuff. And, as I always say, in order to live the extraordinary, you must start. Every start begins with a decision. You guys, take care, be safe, be kind to one another. We will see you next time.