Jennifer: 0:24

Welcome to another episode of Behind the Dreamers. These are our friends, these are your friends, and they are living the extraordinary Well. I'm so excited about my guest today. It's been a while since I have recorded, so I'm excited to have somebody in here to talk to today.

Jennifer: 0:42

He is a first-generation immigrant who came to the States over two decades ago at the age of 16 by himself. He had five dollars in his pocket, spoke no English and had to quickly adapt to a new culture. He was adopted by a foster family in upstate New York, where he attended high school and then became a member of the local fire department, got his higher education from the University of Buffalo. He then moved to California to start his professional career, which allowed him the ability to travel across the country and become a successful businessman. And then, in 21, he moved to Texas with his family and had the opportunity to join a new franchise. So we're going to talk to him in just a few minutes, but before we do that, I need to make a quick few announcements here. So first things first, our sponsor for today's show, walt Mills Photography. If you are a creator needing post-production consultation or promotion, walt is your guy. Whether short films, youtube videos, photography or a new headshot, he can help you find a solution to match your needs. To learn more about Walt and his work, you're going to want to go to photosbywaltcom.

Jennifer: 1:47

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Jennifer: 3:00

All right, we got it all out. Now we get to welcome our guests on. We have to get all those announcements in before we can do this the rest of the fun part of this show. So I'm so excited about this guest today Rafi, Majnonian. He is a partnership with his wife and they own a franchise, ellie mental health, which is an outpatient mental health clinic providing counseling to individuals, families and couples. He says that he, his and his wife's wife's goals is to give back to their community and destigmatize mental health by creating a space where their community can be heard and healed. So, raffi, welcome to the show. I am so excited to have you here today.

Rafi: 3:38

Good morning Jennifer. Thank you for having me this is so fun.

Jennifer: 3:41

I feel like I had like so many words I had to get out there that I was like blah, they were just all kind of running together.

Rafi: 3:48

Good stuff.

Jennifer: 3:49

Thank you. I've done it a few times, so usually, even if I'm not, yeah, I can imagine.

Rafi: 3:53

Work.

Jennifer: 3:56

All right, so let's open this up. Tell us a little bit about Ellie, what this is. I want to start there, so tell us a little bit about what it is.

Rafi: 4:04

So yeah, you mentioned it correctly, ellie is a franchise outpatient patient mental health clinic that started out of Minnesota About six years ago. At the time, obviously, obviously we weren't. We didn't know about Ellie, so we came to. After we are moved to Texas, both my wife and I want to do something for ourselves, open up our own business. Given her background with social working, working for one of the biggest counties in the country, los Angeles County, and dealing with a lot of different cases family, child we want to do something that it's meaningful for us. It's something that close to her heart, something that we feel good about doing and helping the community.

Rafi: 4:56

We were looking into opening up something ourselves, but shortly after Ellie came and knocked on the door, we looked at the opportunity and the services that they were providing, along with the handling, the calls dealing with insurance companies and things like that. So it just kind of makes sense for us to go down that path and join the team. So we opened our doors a few months back in August and we had a beautiful grand opening supported by MetroCross Chamber of Commerce. A lot of people came, including yourself, to support us. We appreciate that and we have been accepting appointments. Slowly we're getting there. We have three clinicians now, we have no wait list and we have taken most major insurance at this point.

Jennifer: 5:55

That's good. I really like the part you mentioned in your bio about the destigmatizing mental health because I think that is such a.

Jennifer: 6:02

I think for so long that has been such a I don't know what the word I'm looking for. I don't want to say taboo, but it's been a hard subject to really address, like people don't want to say hey, I need help. It's been kind of a hard thing and I think we're getting more now in a place where we recognize that a lot of people really do and sometimes they're just afraid to ask, right, or maybe they don't know they need it.

Rafi: 6:26

That's very correct and exactly that's one of the things that we want to do is just normalize this, because, as a man coming from a different culture and it's just not normal for us to express our feelings and be a human again sometimes and I came to conclusion that at the end of the day, we're like anybody else. We have feelings, we go through stuff and holding things inside and piling up it's not healthy. It just mentally exhausts you. Physically it could have a big effect.

Rafi: 7:07

So I personally changed myself and I'm more and I'm trying to reach out to my friends and colleagues and, as much as I can, to tell them that it's okay. It's okay to talk to somebody, it's okay to go sit down in a room and just let things out with someone that they don't know you, so they can't judge you, because sometimes you know, even if you talk, if you're talking to someone that they know you, they quick to judge things based on just how long they know you. But if you're talking to someone that they don't have any past experience, they will listen to you, they will give you honest opinion, they will guide you to the right direction.

Jennifer: 7:43

Yeah, that's so good. You know why you were talking. A couple of things were coming to mind, because I'm thinking about like this bucket filled with water and how it just keeps kind of feeling and then eventually it tips right and when you you know if you're holding all that stuff in and you never have a place to release some things and get some of the stuff off your chest. That's kind of what I vision happens. Like that bucket fills and then it just tips, and when it tips it's not good, it's a mess, right.

Rafi: 8:09

Sometimes too late. Yeah, sometimes it tips. It's a mess to your point and you know some people come back from it, Some people don't, so why we wait until that fills over? Let's address it before that happens.

Jennifer: 8:23

I like it, and it's so funny too, because I think I was talking to somebody not too long ago. We were talking about oh, I was talking to a few vice president of a funeral home and she's a bereavement. She was a bereavement counselor. We were talking about how sometimes people just thinking about like customers per se, they don't really want you to solve their problems, right, they just want you to listen, they want to be able to voice what's going on in their world at that moment, and I think that that's what's great about what you guys are doing is it gives people a place to, like you said, talk about things without being judged, right, like it's somebody that doesn't really know them. They're impartial to the person and to the matter that's going on and they can just listen and then this person has a place to just get that off and release it, you know.

Rafi: 9:08

That's very correct, and 90% of the time when you let things out, you come up with the answers yourself. I mean, you just had it so much inside you that sometimes you just talk about things and then next day you realize I just figured it out just by talking to someone and letting things out. So that's crazy how it happens.

Jennifer: 9:26

Yeah, I'm with you on that. So I want to talk a little bit about you. We know what Ellie is and I'm excited about that. We're going to probably come back to that in a few minutes because I'm going to want you to put a plug in for that. But I want to talk a little bit about you because you've had kind of this wild journey, like you came here at a very young age and we met outside of this video that we're doing right now. So we had a long talk about stuff and so you came here as an immigrant by yourself. I want to know, like, fill us in, just right there, what was that right there that made you decide you were leaving there and you were coming here to the states to embark upon this, because you had no idea what was going to happen in the aftermath?

Rafi: 9:59

Yeah, I guess the answer would that be I had no other option. It was me staying in that country and possibly spent the rest of my life in jail and probably never seen my parents the rest of my life, or give myself an opportunity, and even though the risk was great, I went, though. The reality was I will not see my parents, possibly forever. That was a choice that I had to make. That was an easy one because it was only one way out. I didn't have a lot of options, so that's what led me to go through that and leave my family, the country, just to stay able to survive.

Jennifer: 10:33

Yeah, and tell our audience, because I know you, but they don't. So where did you come from? Because they're going to be like what is it? He said all this, where did he come from?

Rafi: 10:41

Yes, so I'm Armenian by ethnicity, but my parents, grandparents, they were born in Iran and so technically I'm half Iranian, half Armenian. So long story short. After the revolution, things dramatically changed in that country. A country that used to be free and beautiful and a great place to visit ended up being something completely different. That became very hostile to minorities Christians, Jews, you name it. So anybody was a fair target. If they didn't like the way that you present yourself or just didn't like your name, you could have been subject to unfair persecutions and things like that.

Rafi: 11:30

So unfortunately, I ended up in that bucket in a young age and I had to leave the country, leave my parents in the age of 16. I had to leave with my father because when you turn 18 in that country, you no longer allowed to leave until you served the army for two years. So it was for me to escape the country, not leaving at that point. But it took me a long time to get to Austria. I was on the road and walking the jungles and like the movies, the mountains and spending nights under the trees and hiding for about a month until I got to real safety that I could seek asylum, because majority of these countries, neighboring countries, didn't have any asylum seeking. So let's say the neighboring country Iraq, or those are all the countries that you go from worse, bad to worse kind of a thing. So I had to flee to Europe. I made it to Austria that was the first place that I seek asylum as a Christian that I felt that I was safe enough that I can start thinking about my next move and where I want to at least end up to give myself the best chance to succeed. So United States came along, because just the fact that it's the greatest place in the planet until this day, I felt that as a minority, as someone that came from Middle East, I have a best chance to move to the United States to be able to succeed. So finally, after two years, I was interviewed by the consulate and they looked at my case and they agreed that I can legally move to the country. But because of my age I had to have sponsors to able to move to the States.

Rafi: 13:35

Originally I was supposed to go to California. I had a relative there but unfortunately the paperwork fell through. I don't know what happened there, but I ended up in New York, a place that I only saw on TVs. I only saw New York City as a New York. So when I landed in New York it was like OK, where are the people that are supposed to pick me up? They never showed up and I couldn't speak a word of English. I couldn't really communicate with anybody, so I was just going along with people that they just got to the country. They put me in another plane. At the time I was thinking I'm being sent back again for no good reason, but I didn't know. I'm flying actually from New York City to Syracuse, new York, to meet my foster family. I met them over there.

Rafi: 14:23

It was an awkward situation, obviously for all of us. For them it was just I don't know, amazing people. I mean, it's just accepting someone from a different country in the age of 16 to come and live in your house. It's just not something that everybody does. So we were able to communicate through a translator that they brought over there for a few hours, went to the home, just became a part of the family. I mean, even though, again, the communication was a challenge, everything was a challenge for me, but I was able to adapt, I was able to pull myself up.

Rafi: 15:02

There were times that I doubted my move Times. I was tired Times, I missed my parents, but I had to keep moving forward, put the emotions to the side and I grew up quickly, I think in the age of 17, I would probably put 30 in reality because of the things I had to go through and that made me a better person Again. There were a lot of challenges in my life that I had to go through, but here we are After seven years. I moved to California once my real parents were able to move the country. I was able to start working in a corporate world, lucky being, I guess you can say, right place at the right time. I had some incidents in my life that if I would have gone the other way around, I probably would never have been made it here. So luck's been behind me, the support from the family, friends. But Again, here we are with my wife and family and we're opening up on who. We opened our new business. We're optimistic. Optimistic and looking forward to make changes in life.

Jennifer: 16:15

Yeah, wow. Well, thank you for sharing all that, because I know we talked about it, but I knew, I know when you said that first part, I'm like they're gonna be like what is the backstory behind this? What is he talking about? Where did he come from? So thank, you.

Jennifer: 16:25

Because, wow, what a story. And you and I talked, you know, off-camera about like you should write a book about this and talk about it. Because while you're talking about just that, when you were in the beginning talking about like the traveling, the walking, I was getting chills thinking about this, because I'm thinking here's this, this kid, this 16 year old boy Like I have a 19 year old, that's my youngest and I'm thinking I would be having like a heart attack as a parent, thinking about the struggles that you, as a child, you're having to go through to try to free yourself right and having no as a parent I think you know from your parents perspective having no ability to have any Part in this right, like you're on your own and you're trying to do this. And wow, what a story. Like what I just? The resilience and the tenacity and persistence and all the words I want to throw away there, like I was getting chills listening to this story. So thank you for sharing all that.

Rafi: 17:15

Absolutely absolutely.

Jennifer: 17:16

It's good, it's good and so you're doing great. So, kids, how many kids do we have now?

Rafi: 17:21

So we have two kids Emilia, my younger one, she's gonna turn three, and Gregory are all the ones will turn six and of this month, Okay, so what a, what a great story.

Jennifer: 17:32

I mean and look at this, and now you guys are a, are giving back to the community. You're doing something to help, to help other people, youth, other people that are trying to go into their own struggles.

Jennifer: 17:41

And you know, and I think one of the really neat things is when you and I don't know your wife's story. But one of the really neat things I think about the position that we have as leaders and mentors and all of those things, is that when we, you know, all of us have a different story, right, we all have some kind of a journey that we go through. Some of us have really tough, really hard ones, like yours. I think the beauty of that is when you've walked those paths, it gives you an ability to have empathy for others. It allows you to see that others, when they go through their struggles, and be able to not only see that and have that empathy, but to offer hope to those people that hey, if I did this, you got this right like you got this.

Rafi: 18:20

And and that's a very good point, jennifer I think from where I you know where I started. I think it would have been that the the bottom of the bottom In terms of financially just culture, everything. So I did start from that and you know I do. I do understand when people go through struggles and Ops and downs of life and challenges that comes across and sometimes you doubt your decisions and things like that. So I have gone through all that so I can I try to help as much as I can.

Rafi: 18:52

Obviously, my wife's story is slightly different. She came also to this country in older age and through a different system, but her job also highlighted how important it is to address some of these issues In a younger age, before before things get out of hand. She, she dealt with a lot of. She dealt with a lot of kids, unfortunate kids, that they were displaced or, you know, terrible things happen to them With strangers or even with their parents, the things stories that I heard. That was just crazy.

Rafi: 19:29

So one of the one of the decision makers, I guess the reasons that we want to do this also was how can we address these? Or, you know, help individuals, kids, families from Getting destroyed to begin with, and and this is this is the Probably one of the important places that starts if you can resolve your issues by communicating, by, you know, try to have a professional to have opinions on it and and seek help, period, I think it will prevent families falling apart, um, kids getting destroyed. So we see this as an opportunity to prevent some of these things. Obviously, we're not going to able to save the world. We're not going to able to save the planet, but it gives us a give us a, gives us a purpose to able to save as much as we can. Keep the families together, keep the parents together or, even if the kids are going through hard times, make sure that we address it before, before things get out of hand and and, uh, you know, did they have to deal with the consequences?

Jennifer: 20:36

Yeah, I love that, I love that and I think you're so right about that, because it's you can't. Really it's hard to change adults, right, like it's what adults are, are kind of set in the way they are, and and for them to change, they have to really want to change themselves, right. But I think kids are at a place where they're still very impressionable and if you can get in into their space and I keep going back to, I think about your journey Like, had you not had somebody come into your life and say, hey, we're going to take this kid in, despite the language barriers, the culture barriers, all of this, your life could have looked very different today. Right, it could have been a very different story. And so I you're a testament to that the ability of an adult coming in and making a difference in another Child's life, and so I think it's incredible, if you have the ability to do that, you're in a perfect place, because they're at a place where they're learning, they're soaking it all in and they're taking it in.

Rafi: 21:27

Yes.

Jennifer: 21:28

It's good, good stuff. I love it, all right. Well, I want to ask you another question. This is good. I know we could talk forever, and I do think you need to write that book and tell your story, and maybe your wife needs to Write one too. I don't know. Maybe y'all need to have like a joint book, why? Why y'all decided to get into this, ellie, but I think your story is great and I I just think it's a very remarkable story. So I want to know this is going to be a you question about you what have you learned about yourself in this journey?

Rafi: 21:57

well, it's a good question. I think I learned that you never give up. I think I think it's one of those things that you know. Sometimes, as I mentioned earlier, it could be, it could be tough, it could be Lot of things can't come at you at once. It seems like almost the world just try to break you down, but you never give up and you address one problem at a time. Great example we were going through tough financial times and, you know, the same time my dad was sick and he died, was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer and he barely made it to my wedding and he died two months after. So you know, those are the things they learn you. You try to Never give up, regardless of what happens, and I think that's why proud of One thing that I'm really proud of myself is I have never given up. I will never give up and I'll try to help as many people as I can to make sure they don't give up either.

Jennifer: 23:04

It's good You're gonna and your kids are gonna probably be the same way. Guys will all be like never give up kind of people. I love it.

Rafi: 23:11

I.

Jennifer: 23:12

Always joke about that, because I always say I'm kind of like that too, like I have and like this just crazy tenacity about things and like I hate to give up. Like and sometimes I will say this 90% of the time that's good right, like it's beneficial not to give up, but there will be that like small Percent of a time when I need to like let something go and I don't want to let it go because I don't like to give up. I like to. But my mother and I were talking about this yesterday, because You'll probably get a kick out is when I was a kid when I would get in trouble and I couldn't say I was sorry. My mom she didn't do this often, but sometimes would make me go stand in the corner and she told me we were talking about this on the phone yesterday. She said I would start to feel so bad for you that I just send you to your room. Why never had to say I was sorry. I got out of it every time. I Could stay at that corner for a really long time and I was like I'm not saying I'm sorry, you're gonna leave me here and I will just. So she just sent me my room and I got out of it.

Jennifer: 24:12

So sometimes I say most of time that that tenacity is incredible and it's good Purpose, but every now and then it's like you got to know when it is to like just quit. You know that's, that's the fun side of it. So but I think what you're doing is remarkable and I love I think you're like I said, your story is awesome. Thank you for sharing it with us. It's great. One, one last thing I want to ask you, before we wrap this up, any advice you said basically not giving up, that's what you learned but any other last-minute advice, or maybe somebody that wants to start. They could be in any position. I mean, you've got so much to the story, the depth of the story you know I take it from you're coming over here or starting this franchise but Maybe some advice you would offer somebody starting out or maybe Finding themself in a position where they're like gonna take that step to do something that's that's kind of big.

Rafi: 25:03

Yeah, I mean my advice. Uh, obviously Not gonna lie. We're learning as we're going, as we speak, uh, but from my past experience is that uh, Make sure that, whatever you're doing in life, it could be a work, it could be something, that, whatever it is, you you have full commitment. That means you're 100 focus, um, and if you are peace, in other words, to you really want to do it, put your head behind it. Avoid distractions, because you are going to have people on the side. Uh, try to discourage you.

Rafi: 25:40

Um, again, challenges will happen, but uh, just put your focus on whatever you want to do and just go for it. Um, and and make sure you know I've probably made that mistake Long, you know long, but enjoy the life, enjoy the ride on on your way doing that, because sometimes we can get carried out and just Focus too much on things and forget about what's done. The side right, we always try to Look forward when you're driving, but once in a while you might want to turn your head around and enjoy the scenery as well, because you just never know. You know things happen in life. Um, health-wise Accidents could happen. Uh, if you have a family, just enjoy the time with them. Uh, it's, it's, it's a, it's a. Make it a fun journey. Um, whatever you want to do, and uh, and that makes it much easier to get where you want to be, for sure.

Jennifer: 26:35

I love that. Raffi, that was good. I love it. I've had a lot of people come from that perspective and I think when you can get to a place where you can do that, where you start learning to relish, like in the moment, you know, and and and not be so focused on the end, destination, right, that's what I like to say that in destination, you miss all the stuff around you. If you're just focusing on the 10 minutes of glory at the end, right, it's like you spend all this time getting to that and you lose it. So I think that's good.

Jennifer: 26:59

I've had, I feel like this has been a like a universal conversation I've had with people lately, so it's good, all right. So I want to do some fun questions for you, and these are. These are just I used to call them rapid fire because they were supposed to be rapid. I don't know that they ever are, but they're just fine, and so I want to ask them, to ask them, okay. So if you had to sum yourself up in one word, what would it be? Just one word.

Rafi: 27:23

Loyal. I'm a very loyal person, um, whether professionally or family and or friends. But if you ask my friends or anybody that one thing, I probably they will. They will say the same thing. I'm loyal and, um, I tend to work hard. I don't like easy way, um, it's it's advantage, sometimes disadvantage, but I like, I like to work.

Jennifer: 27:49

I like to work hard.

Rafi: 27:50

I could see that and earn everything that I have and Just gives you that feeling right. Yeah, you didn't get it easy.

Jennifer: 27:57

I get it. I get it All right. What is your Favorite guilty pleasure food? The one thing that you like? That's just not good for you.

Rafi: 28:09

That's a very good question, because I've been on a strict diet and not for health reasons, just just want to start a healthy life.

Jennifer: 28:18

That's why I asked you this question.

Rafi: 28:20

Yeah, burger and fries, yeah, that's. I can eat that all day. Any particular joint.

Jennifer: 28:29

Do you have a specific place?

Rafi: 28:30

you like In and out.

Jennifer: 28:31

In and out. Okay, that's good to ask you, because you don't hear. It's the water burger and the in and out. I'm a water burger girl.

Rafi: 28:38

You hear?

Jennifer: 28:38

that a lot. They'll be like which one? So I'm sorry.

Rafi: 28:44

It's good, but yeah, that would be the by far the most junkie yeah. I asked you that.

Jennifer: 28:52

I knew that you probably ate clean. I do too. That's why I like that question, because I don't eat a lot of junk either, so that's why I can ask Okay, this is going to be a fun one for you, first concert that you've been to.

Rafi: 29:07

Bon Jovi.

Jennifer: 29:08

Really Interesting, very cool.

Rafi: 29:11

Buffalo, New York, All right.

Jennifer: 29:12

Last question I'm going to ask you Favorite book? Do you have a specific book or mentor that you, that you, that just really comes to mind.

Rafi: 29:23

That's a good one. Yeah, I don't. I don't have one. I mean not a big reader to be honest, it's okay, but I read books, but I can't. It doesn't come to my mind right now.

Jennifer: 29:38

But don't worry about it. I used to not be a big reader either. I had that. That was like a new thing I had I started in 2018. And so now I have like a whole list of books. But I asked that question. Yeah, it's like my. I listen to people and I'm like what book are you reading? So I know what I need to note down.

Rafi: 29:54

Yeah, once both of my kids turn seven or eight, maybe I can spend some additional time. Start reading books. Right now is by the time you cook the dinner and get things ready, and this and that is no, no time for anything, but I understand, I understand. It's hard.

Jennifer: 30:11

It's a challenge. When you got the little people. They grow up fast, but I get it when they're little. There's a lot of running around and taking care of kids. I totally get where you're coming from. So yeah, all right, raffy. So if anybody wants to plug in, they may want to check this out. See what this is all about. They want to get connected with you. Where do we want to send them?

Rafi: 30:27

So we have a website we can go to Elemental Health Carrollton. That will be the website that you can search under. My wife is the clinical director. We have three other therapists. They're all specialized in different areas. I'm not a therapist myself, but she is and we have a great therapist that they're. They're pretty much doing this for a long time and they're eager to hear from the people that they need assistance. We have no weight, like I said, and we take most major insurances and we're adding more. So Elemental Health Carrollton.

Jennifer: 31:08

Very good, very good. And you're the behind the scenes.

Rafi: 31:10

You do the other parts of the business, I do the outreach, I do the marketing, I do the community events and things like that. Just the fact that she's tied up there and she's doing her thing, and I try to help out as much as I can.

Jennifer: 31:23

I think it's great that you guys are a partnership and you work together on that, because I always say you know you guys have most couples have like different strengths and weaknesses and so if you can work together and kind of balance those out, you can pick up the pieces that she doesn't care about right.

Rafi: 31:37

That's right. No, it's a great team and we're having fun doing it for sure.

Jennifer: 31:41

Very good, very good. Well, afi, I want to tell you thank you so much for sharing your story and for being authentic with our audience. I know it's not always easy to share these stories, but I appreciate you doing that. I do think you need to write that book, get that thing done. And thank you for all of your contribution and what you're doing to help make the world a better place.

Rafi: 32:00

So we appreciate it and Jennifer, thank you for letting me be on your show and share my history and where we are right now, and I appreciate this. Thank you, this is very nice.

Jennifer: 32:13

Awesome, you're welcome. And to our audience, of course, we do want to say if you enjoy our show, go head on over to Apple, give us a review over there, hit that subscribe button on the YouTube. And, as I always say, in order to live the extraordinary, you must start, and every start begins with a decision. You guys, take care, be safe, be kind to one another. We will see you next time.